Now, don’t get us wrong, there are few things more exciting in the world of football than transfers. Speculating on who’s going to go where and for what bonkers modern day fee is what us football fans live for (especially without, y’know, football) but it’s fair to say that sometimes these gossip column rumours can turn into chapter and verse of drivel.
While this year’s summer transfer window is set to be incredibly chaotic and unpredictable, one certainty is that a fair few transfer sagas are set to rumble on – possibly without coming to a conclusion.
We haven’t even watched any live football – bar you Belarusian fans out there – for weeks and yet these inevitable sagas are already gathering unstoppable pace.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the sagas we are already sick to death of, especially given the summer window is yet to even open.
Timo Werner to Liverpool
What we don’t know about Timo Werner isn’t worth knowing. His preferred destination this summer, who he thinks the best coach in the world is, his release clause, his favourite brand of deodorant (probably)…we know it all.
However, we wish we didn’t.
It appears that Werner is desperate – utterly desperate – to join Liverpool this summer, yet Jurgen Klopp and his backroom staff don’t seem quite as keen as the RB Leipzig forward. As a result, who knows how long this potential deal could rumble on for?
There’s no doubt that Werner is an incredible talent and will definitely have more suitors than just Liverpool this summer, but it’s fair to say that even Reds supporters are getting sick of the sight of this man’s name.
If you want him Klopp, sign him. If you don’t, then please let us move on with our lives.
Jadon Sancho to the Premier League
While seemingly not even Jadon Sancho knows what his best move is this summer – although every Tom, Dick and Harry on Twitter seems to – one thing that is looking increasingly likely is that the English winger won’t be playing for Borussia Dortmund next term.
Many believe a return to his homeland is on the cards, with Manchester United, Chelsea and former club Manchester City all touted with a move for the starlet, despite no concrete approaches having been made.
We get it, it’s exciting. A 20-year-old Englishman who’s conquered Germany and is set for a triple-figure move back to the Premier League; it’s every FIFA 20 manager’s dream. But, if possible, could we just wait until the window actually opens before sending ourselves into a frenzy?
Erling Braut Haaland to Real Madrid
Despite having arrived at Dortmund a nanosecond ago, Haaland apparently – if the tabloids are anything to go by – has one foot out of the door already. Smelling an incredibly talented youngster whose head has possibly been turned like a shark smelling blood in the water, Real Madrid have naturally jumped to the front of this imaginary queue.
Erling Haaland’s name likely gathers more online traffic than cute cat videos, but can we just let the young lad breathe? He’s 19 for crying out loud, and already being used as bait by movie villain and multi-million pound agent Mino Raiola to secure a ridiculous pay cheque.
Instead of focusing on why he should move to Los Blancos, or United, or Saudi-funded Newcastle (somehow), we should probably let the lad have a full season at the Westfalenstadion at the very least.
Kai Havertz to Liverpool or Bayern Munich
Despite Liverpool having made it abundantly clear that they’re not willing to splash ridiculous amounts of cash on individual players this summer, £100m-rated Havertz is still linked with an unlikely move to Anfield.
Meanwhile, the Bayer Leverkusen midfielder is young, German and talented, so naturally Bayern Munich are waiting in the wings.
It seems that the 20-year-old will be playing his football away from Leverkusen next season, but we should probably stop adding name after name to an exponentially growing list of Havertz suitors.
Paul Pogba to Real Madrid
One man who is praying for Paul Pogba’s blockbuster Madrid move this summer is Graeme Souness, alongside an army of United fans who seemingly hate the French midfielder for every reason other than his actual footballing ability.
However, considering the 27-year-old has barely donned a United shirt this season due to injury, it’s strange how Pogba’s name has never held as much weight as it seemingly does today.
The Pogba-Madrid saga didn’t begin this season, oh no. It’s been an ongoing battle of wills for what feels like millennia, and is somehow no closer to a conclusion than it was this time last year, or the year before, or the year before that.
Please Real, just sign him up.
Kylian Mbappe to Real Madrid
Surprise, surprise, it’s Real Madrid involved again. Well, unless you believe the #Mbappe2020 rumours Liverpool fans have forged out of thin air on Twitter.
Despite enduring a relatively difficult period at the moment, Los Blancos still have the pick of the litter when it comes to the transfer window, and, yet again, Mbappe appears to be high up on their wish list. Zinedine Zidane will certainly be a pull factor for the young French forward, but the Paris Saint-Germain attacker will likely set the Spanish side back a world-record fee.
Is it worth it? Probably.
Is it going to be a seamless transfer with little fuss? Absolutely not.
Philippe Coutinho to Anyone Who Will Have Him
Remember when Philippe Coutinho was ‘worth’ £142m? Well, now he’s being linked with a potential summer move to Everton or Leicester.
If only it was that simple, however. Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Leicester, Everton, Tottenham, Paris Saint-Germain…maybe it would be quicker to just list the teams who haven’t been linked with the Brazilian.
A Premier League return looks most likely, but given how quickly the Barcelona midfielder’s stock has fallen, we wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up playing for Huddersfield Town next season.