What is the point of professional footballers when there’s no football to be played?
This temporary stoppage of the beautiful game has simply forced these stars to diversify their talents…and let’s just say some have been more successful than others.
Several have go on to star in their alternative careers, while one or two have had absolute stinkers.
90min has delved through social media and we can now reveal which players are thriving in this new world – and which are not – while football takes some time off.
Here’s who’s winning self-isolation this so far…
We are being absolutely bombarded with COVID-19 related news at the moment. That’s why we feel it’s necessary to remind you that yes, Ronaldinho is genuinely being held in Paraguayan jail.
After being stopped trying to enter the country with a fake passport – despite the fact that Brazilians only need a photo ID to enter Paraguay – the former Ballon d’Or winner was locked up and is facing a potential six months is prison.
Has it stopped him smiling? Absolutely not.
The Barcelona legend celebrated his 40th birthday recently by posing with a suspicious-looking slab on meat on a stick and is also starring for the prison’s football team, registering five goals and six assists to win his side the most prestigious prize of them all.
Not the Champions League. Not the World Cup. A 16kg piglet to devour. ?Really, he did.
Winning Rating: 1.5/10
Making the Best Out of a Dire Situation Rating: 11/10
Well done for volleying the teabag into the very boring looking mug, but what is much more important is what comes next.
First, it is clear that the cup barely has any water in. Misleading the public Harry, very disappointing.
Second, Winks put about half a pint of milk in it.
Third, he leaves it to brew for about three milliseconds before taking – a presumably pretend – sip.
He’s clearly never done a tea run while on work experience and it shows.
Winning Rating: 3/10
Tea Making Ability: 0/10
Various Bald Players
Presumably as a tribute to Everton’s legendary midfield pivot of Thomas Gravesen and Lee Carsley, a string of footballers have shaved their heads.
Anthony Martial, Ander Herrera and ?Paul Pogba are just some of the names to have joined the no hair club recently. Is it just a temporary measure to stay cool during the summer months or could this start a trend?
We are hoping to see 22 eggs ready to do battle when the Premier League eventually returns.
Winning Rating: 3/10
Saving Money on Shampoo Rating: 10/10
Twenty seasons into a save with National League North side Gloucester City, Lolley finally guided the Tigers to the pinnacle of (virtual) English football. He even sealed the ?Premier League trophy at the City Ground – Forest’s home since 1898.
You couldn’t write a better storyline. Probably.
What’s next for Lolley we wonder? Maybe one of these ?sleeping giants saves.
Winning Rating: 7/10
Annoying Your Spouse Rating: 8/10
?Gareth Bale has made no secret of his love of golf – ?much to Real Madrid’s annoyance – and the Welshman has been using his enforced time away from football to fully focus on his true sporting calling.
As well as doing the bread and butter stuff such as ?practicing his putting, the forward has also been partaking in various social media challenges – with a golfing twist of course.
Whether chipping a ball into the middle of a toilet roll, or doing round the worlds with his six iron, Bale’s social media output of late is doing little to dispel the conspiracy theory that he secretly hates football.
Winning Rating: 7.5/10
Angering Real Madrid Rating: 9/10
Marco Asensio has had a lot of free time on his hands recently, after an knee injury ruled him out for the season back in July.
At least he’s put his time to good use – by playing loads and loads of video games
How do we know this? Well, the Spaniard clinched ?La Liga’s FIFA 20 tournament recently, thrashing Leganes’ Aitor Ruibal in the final 4-1.
That kind of virtual domination doesn’t just happen – it takes months of dedication and hard work. Maybe a career as an eSports athlete beckons…
Winning Rating: 9/10
Sore Thumbs Rating: 8.5/10
Here he is, the undeniable winner of quarantine so far: James Philip Milner.
Whether his new found comedy content is the brainchild of a genius PR company or comes direct from the man himself, it is genuinely quite funny.
Watching a man – who for his entire career has been derided for being really boring – sort teabags into piles or sharpen pencils shouldn’t be entertainment…and yet we cannot look away.
The cream of Milner’s comedic crop though is his quarantine XI. The unexpected pinnacle of dad humour that features some surprisingly creative word play. Give us more James. We want MORE!
Winning Rating: 10/10
Teabag Rationing Rating: 10/10
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